Disclaimer: Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me. Neither does this song, it belongs to Weird Al Yankovic.
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Shi-chan: This one I so couldn't resist.

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Broken Mirrors -- Trigger Happy
Heero Yuy

By Shimegami-chan
Warnings: Nothing. Nothing at all. He's so in-character that even I'm disturbed.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is second in a series of alternative 'image song,' vidfics. More to come, r&r please so I know what you guys want out of these!


[Heero lies asleep in bed and the camera focuses in on his face. One eye suddenly opens deliberately and he lies still. Suddenly he yanks a gun out from under his pillow and fires three shots into the darkness, then turns on the lamp.]

Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel all right.
Gat an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night.
There's no feeling any greater
Than to shoot first and ask questions later.
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.

[By the door is Duo, back pressed up against the wall, bullets embedded about two inches to the right and left of both flattened hands, palms down, and one neat bullet hole in the wall an inch above the top of his head. Heero shakes his head resolutely and tucks the gun back under his pillow. Duo very slowly inches along the wall and climbs into his own bed across the room, not bothering to get undressed. The digital clock on the nightstand shows 11:00 p.m. exactly as Duo yanks the plug behind it out of the wall, turning off the lamp.]

Well, you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right.
Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Ozzies [1] attack us tonight.
I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson,
That oughta teach 'em all a darn good lesson.
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.

[Cut to Heero at a shooting range, loaded down with machine guns, whisting innocently and plugging target after target full of holes. One cardboard cutout shaped like Relena appears and he calmly blows its head off. Trowa and Quatre watch, horrified, from inside a bomb shelter nearby.]

(Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh, baby I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.

[Heero twirls one of the pistols around his finger and snaps off a shot at another 'Relena,' target, but upon closer inspection the target turns out to be a cardboard Quatre. Heero shrugs the mistake off and continues to practice.]

Oh, I accidentally shot Duo [2] last night in the den.
[Backup singers Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa: "Shot Duo, in the den."]
I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Relena [3] again.
Now why'd you have to get so mad?
It was just a lousy flesh wound, man.
You know, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.

[Cut to Duo howling in pain and yelling his head off at Heero, who looks indifferent. There is blood all over, and a shot wound in Duo's thigh. Wufei has to hold the American back as Duo tries to find a weapon to kill Heero with.]

Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet.
Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet.
I filled that kitty cat so full of lead,
We'll have to use him for a pencil instead.
Well, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.

[Quatre is crying over a white Persian cat and Trowa is glaring daggars at Heero.]

(Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.

[Heero on the range again, pinning off Quatre, Duo, Wufei, and Trowa-shaped targets.]

Come on and grab your ammo.
What have you got to lose?
We'll get all liquored up
And shoot at anything that moves.

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight.
[Duo: "Shoot to kill now, shoot to kill now."]
Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight.
I always keep a Magnum in my trunk.
You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk?
Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.

[Heero is sitting on the floor in the dark with a semi-automatic, cradling it obsessively. His eyes are wild and he looks like he just spent a week on a Zero-system high. Bottles of liquor are strewn all over the floor.]

(Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.

[The door opens and someone steps inside. Heero immediately takes aim and fires, but the weapon is wavering all over the place because of the alcohol. When he runs out of ammo he reaches for the lamp and plugs it in.]

Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.

[Duo is standing in the doorway, quite alive, holding a pistol. He takes aim and fires at Heero's head.]

Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.

[A little flag with the word 'Bang!' on it pops out of the gun and Duo grins and shrugs innocently. Heero rolls his eyes and reaches for more ammunition. Duo runs out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.]

Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.




[1] Originally Commies. Ozzies suited Hee-chan better.
[2] "Duo," was more likely than "Daddy."
[3] Couldn't resist.

~OWARI!

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Shi-chan: You scared yet?