Digimon's not mine. I've built the bridge.


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Shi-chan: Where the hell did this come from???
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Guilt
By Shimegami-chan

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Evil! Lime/lemon! Non-consentual! Attempted rape and stuff! Did I write this!?

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:Insanity: :Clarity: :Grief: :Pride: :Memory: :Hate: :Silence: :Glass: :Homeless: :Loneliness: :Escape:
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I was the smart one.

Everyone knew.


How can I be so damned stupid?

I'm caught in web of lies.

Guilt is the only thing I feel.




They always came to me for help with technical stuff. Never with emotional problems. I guess they thought I wouldn't know how to handle it. Maybe I couldn't, since no one had ever helped with with my problems.

I was so happy to find Jyou.

The two of us were the only Chosen Children attending that university--Yamato and Takeru had passed on not too long before, Taichi had missed initial post-secondary requirements while greiving, and Sora had moved to New York to attend classes in fashion design there. Miyako and Daisuke still attended Odaiba High School. Ken was in an institution, Hikari had dropped out, and Iori had moved to the country with his family. So when I started computer courses there, it only made sense for us to move in together. I had a crush on him some time earlier that had never gone away, and once he found out that I was gay he reavealed that he was actually bisexual. We lived together for several months after that, blissfully happy, blissfully unaware of a little secret I had that even I didn't know.

I wasn't gay.

I had accepted that fate long before: Jyou had been my one and only romantic interest--ever--and I assumed that I wasn't attracted to females at all.

Miyako turned my entire world upside down.

All the Chosen knew that Jyou and I were together; it was no big secret. So when Inoue Miyako showed up at my door late one night when Jyou was away at a medical seminar in America, I was rather surprised to see her.

She looked like she'd stepped out of a showbar--seventeen-going-on-eighteen years old, the lavender-haired girl had full, plump breasts and an hourglass figure. She wore a miniskirt that couldn't have been more than six inches long and a strapless bikini top that left nothing to the imagination. She wore dark purple-colored contacts instead of her glasses.

"Uh...can I help you, miss?" I didn't recognize her, dressed like that. She'd filled out a lot more than she was when I'd last seen her, and I didn't really associate with the younger Chosen. She breezed through the door, waving her hand as if to brush me off. "Aw, Kou-chan! You don't remember me? Inoue Miyako!"

"Miyako!?" I gaped at her. She looked good in that. For the first time in my life I felt a spark of desire shoot throughout my body, and, oh my God--I was aroused. By a woman.

She closed my open jaw and winked, locking the door. "How are you, hun?"

"Uh...fine, I guess...I don't mean to be ruse, but what brings you all the way out here?"

"I heard Jyou was away." There was a predatory gleam in her eyes. "So, I decided to come visit."

I chuckled lightly. "He's only gone for a few nights, I'll manage."

She came within inches of my face, the scent of perfume and alcohol filling my nostrils. "I'm not here so I can keep you company."

I shivered, desire coursing like fire through my veins. "I'm sorry, Miyako, but I don't know what you mean. But you're welcome to stay a while, I could use someone to talk to."

"Oh..." She closed the gap between us in seconds, her thigh pressing between my legs. I gasped in surprise and guilty pleasure. "I intend to stay all night."

"M-Miyako, what are you--" She pulled me bodily into the bedroom, and pushed me down onto the bed, straddling me before I had time to protest. "Miyako!"

"Hmm?" she purred, unbuttoning my shirt. "Did you want something?"

Violet hair tickling my stomach, she lowered her mouth to my right nipple and sucked hard, eliciting a yelp of protest from me. "Miyako!" I held up my left hand in a fist, displaying the gold ring on my ring finger. "Don't do this to me! I'm promised!"

"Jyou doesn't appreciate you the way I do," she said throatily, unbuckling my belt and unzipping my pants. "You must want me. You've gone hard."

It was true, my body did want her. But I wasn't going to betray Jyou. "No, Miyako!" I started to thrash, but she was stronger than she looked. She let go of my left arm just long enough to slip her fingers down my boxers, freezing me with a shudder. "Oh, shit..."

"Mmm. You like that, don't you." She wrapped her fingers around me and squeezed, pumping hard.

I let out a soft moan. "Oh God...please don't...stop that, Miyako, please!"

Yanking my pants down around my knees with her other hand, she hushed me. "Shh, Koushirou-chan...I need this...I need you."

Nonononononono... I let out a soft cry as her mouth closed around my length, the heat of her rushing through me. She sucked hard, bringing me as far back into her throat as she could, leaving me moaning and whimpering and protesting. And it felt so good...

Miyako was breathing hard, her tongue forcefully licking all around me, sending shudders through my body. The pleasure was exquisite, unbearable. I couldn't stand it!

With a wordless cry I came into her mouth, shaking as I clutched the bedsheets. She licked her lips. "There, now, Kou-chan, don't you feel better?"

"N-no," I choked, bile rising in my throat. "This is wrong."

"And you liked it." She unhooked her top and slid her skirt down to her ankles, revealing shapely legs. Then she kicked off her shoes and removed her panties while I lay there, thoughts whirling, too spent to move. "You'll like this even more."

Could she do that while holding me down? I stared at her, my mouth dry. Her breasts were perfectly sculpted C's. My hands itched to touch them, cradle them, let them spill out of my fingers. I was already erect again.

Luckily, being the Child of Knowledge presented me with plenty of situations where I had to keep my cool and think rationally. "Miyako," I began, "I don't know what brought this on, but you're worrying me. I can smell alcohol on your breath. You don't know what you're doing!"

"I know exactly what I'm doing." She cupped her breasts in her palms, tempting me. "What about you? I can tell by the look in your eyes that you want me."

"No, Miyako," I said firmly. "I can't do this to Jyou. I'm in love with him. Like you're supposed to be in love with Ken!"

She answered by closing her eyes and slipping a finger inside herself, moaning quietly. "Koushirou..."

"Miyako, dammit! You're drunk!"

The Child of Love and Purity--the irony of her crests slamming into me like a wall--removed her finger and came close to me, capturing my lips in a one-sided kiss. She eased onto the bed on her knees, half-straddling me, before dropping her weight. My arousal slammed into her opening, penetrating, eliciting a cry of pain from us both. It hurt like hell; doing it violently and quickly like that. Miyako gripped my shoulders and rocked back and forth, stroking herself from the inside.

Despite the feelings washing over me, I held tight to my control. "Miyako. No."

She answered with a long moan.

I gripped her hips and put all my strength into lifting her up, freeing me. She let out a whimper at the loss of contact. "Rape, Miyako," I whispered. "That's what that is. Please, put your clothes back on, I'll take you home. We won't tell anyone about this. Okay?"

"No, please," she begged, not meeting my eyes. "Please...I need it..." Her eyes filled with tears and she collapsed into my arms, sobbing. I just held her there, rocking back and forth, holding her until her sobs quieted. "Koushirou..."

"What?" I brushed the tears away from her cheeks, a funny feeling in my stomach. I was attracted to her. What the hell was I going to do?

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." Gently I re-dressed her as she cried, draping my shirt around her shoulders to cover her almost-indecent clothing. Then I led her out to my car and brought her home, walking her all the way to the staeps before either of us said a word. "You...won't tell Jyou, will you?"

She shook her head in a negative. "No. You two are happy together. I'm so sorry, Kou-chan..."

"It's all right."

With that she opened the door and slipped into the apartment, taking a peice of my heart with her. "Miyako...why did you have to do this? I want everything to be like it was before...I don't want to like you! I'm in love with Jyou!"

Still, the aborted affair burns with guilt.

My heart is black with regret.

Guilty









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Shi-chan: That's two with an 'R' rating...